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50 Things I Don’t Care About
By
- What your baby did today.
- The weather.
- Your boyfriend’s band.
- What it means if he usually texts you at 10:15 but today he didn’t text until 10:21.
- What price you paid for your outfit.
- Interest rates.
- What’s under the hood of your car.
- The fact that, at first, you thought your shirt was black but when you put it on with your skirt you realized it was navy.
- Math.
- Grammar.
- Why Greek yogurt is better than regular.
- What not owning a TV has taught you.
- How much you can bench.
- What’s inside that hot dog.
- How difficult it was to select a venue for your wedding.
- The “terrible customer service” you got at McDonalds.
- Etsy.
- Music before 1960.
- That it’s actually faster to drive home the other way.
- What you do in the bedroom, if you aren’t my three closest friends or the person I’m seeing.
- YOUR LAST GIRLFRIEND.
- Libertarians.
- “The South.”
- Tan lines.
- My horoscope, unless it’s good.
- Award shows.
- Abortion.
- Throwing away “home decor” given to me by distant relatives.
- What anyone got on the ACTs past age 18.
- Leadership classes.
- Ugly dogs.
- The time you kissed someone of the same sex and “totally” thought you were gay.
- Your Kickstarter project.
- Art projects.
- Boycotts.
- Nutella.
- Instagram.
- Banksy.
- Spilled milk/vodka.
- CRAFT COCKTAILS.
- Anything Ann Romney has to say.
- Germs, for the most part.
- How offensive “______” is.
- Comic book movies.
- That the winning “Bachelor” couples never stay together.
- That a 6-year-old went tanning. (It was one time?)
- How “slutty” someone is dressed.
- Carrie Bradshaw-isms
- How everyone calls him your “work husband.”
- What your puke tasted like.
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